“There is nothing upon which I look back with more real shame- and I hope, real sorrow- than upon past seasons of murmuring, discontent, and fretfulness.

“While I was under the dominion of discontent and unthankfulness, I did not consider the devastation. All this time I was being robbed of my faith, hope, peace, confidence, my innumerable comforts…

“The sin of discontent… blights and withers all the Christian graces; it robs God of glory; it turns all the privileges and blessings we have into poison.

“Nothing can be more opposed to that exhortation of the apostle: ‘Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.'”

Sarah Hawkes (1759-1832)

Goodness, precious Sarah. Way to spell it out. You’re self awareness is a revelation. (She’s yet another saint I plan to seek out and get to know in the next life! God’s family is just so cool.)

Just as Ms. Sarah pondered the sin of discontentment and its consequences, lately I too have been thinking about its ramifications. Discontentment is a rampant plague of our day. Comparison. Jealousy. Dissatisfaction with our current stations. Always seeking. Never satisfied. We’re a grumbling complaining mess. Unthankfulness is dangerous to our souls.

I could talk about how God severely judged Israel in the desert for their grumbling and complaining in Exodus 5. (Go read it!) I could list other Biblical examples to demonstrate just what Jesus thinks about an ungrateful heart. But I’m not going to do that. Instead, this post will a bit of a departure from my usual teaching style to strive more for remedy and application.

I am going to write a list of things I am thankful for as a spiritual exercise. (I invite you, dear reader, to fire up your word processing application to follow suit.) As I write my gratitude list, I remember that every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of Heavenly Lights (James 1:17). EVERY good gift comes from above. I want to take the time to recognize a few of these good gifts to say, “Thank You,” to God. In this way, I lead my heart into gratefulness and ward of the sin of discontentment. It’s how I follow Paul’s advice to “renew my mind” (Romans 2:12).

So, without further ado, I am thankful for:

1. technology. I use technology to do my work as a dyslexia therapist. I use it to write this blog. I use it to stay informed of things happening right now on the other side of the world. (As an aside, I am reminded that Jesus told us that in the last days, knowledge would increase. I love that God is not one to exaggerate. In fact, the Bible is so beautifully understated. When Jesus said knowledge would increase, He wasn’t kidding.)
2. dance; God, in His sovereignty, decided to give me the ability to dance. I will one day dance around His throne without physical limitations and with full understanding. Maybe I’ll get to see King David dance too. Oh what a day it will be!
3. colors and the ability to perceive them; Can you imagine not being able to see? What if this world were only five shades of grey? Thank You, Jesus, for the gift of physical sight and for giving me spiritual eyes to see Your truth.
4. my students; I am grateful for each one of them, and I am forever thankful that their parents entrust a part of their children’s day to me. It’s an honor and privilege I do not take on lightly.
5. my blue Kia Rio. It is a basic economy car that gets me from A to B. I don’t have power windows or power locks. Forget leather seats or a sunroof! I bought my car in 2018 as an emotionally broken newly-single adult who badly needed transportation. At the time of purchase, I didn’t know if I would qualify for a car loan- and was overjoyed and overflowing with gratitude when I did. After I drove the Rio home, I remember my confused children asking, “How do you roll down the windows?” I laughed and explained the old school hand crank. My little car has taken me to Mississippi for graduate classes. It took me on my first dates with my now husband. It allowed me to be an Uber Driver when I desperately needed income. There are many other vehicles on the road that are much more flashy with more outstanding features and amenities. However, I can promise you that you won’t find many drivers more grateful for their vehicle than this girl right here.
6. The Joy of Cooking cookbook Steve bought for me; Mom had this book in the kitchen as I was growing up, so I wanted one too. Steve remembered I wanted the cookbook and got it for me for Christmas one year. It’s displayed prominently on my book shelf.
7. great Bible teachers like Alistair Begg, Perry Stone, Allen Nolan, Paul Washer, Ravi Zacharias (despite his failings), Jerry Peebles, Charles Spurgeon, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Dwight L. Moody, John MacArthur, Janet Parshall, Charles Swindoll, Derek Prince, Ray Comfort, Ken Ham, Chip Ingram, Jimmy Evans, Robert Morris, and so many others who have given their lives to the advancement of the Gospel. These folks have not only helped me understand the Bible better, but these preacher/teacher saints were also used by the Holy Spirit to sanctify me through the washing of the water of the Word.
8. Bulgaria’s roses. I traveled to Bulgaria a couple of years ago. Bulgaria’s dark loamy soil helps produce the most gorgeous roses in the world. I cried more than once looking at these beautiful flowers.
9. washing machines and dryers; The other day I was dreading doing laundry. As I was loading the washer, it occurred to me that just a couple of generations ago, our grandmothers had no such machine to help them on washing day. That thought shut down my silent complaining real quick.
10. rest stops along the road; I’ve had my gall bladder removed- if you know, you know. I can tell you with all sincerity that I have literally praised the Lord after seeing a “Rest Area” sign on the highway.
11. blood donors who have kept me healthy when I needed a transfusion; If you’re a blood donor- thank you.
12. Dark chocolate; I’m particularly grateful for this yumminess on certain days of the month.
13. an electric blanket that keeps my iron-deficient body warm; My husband gave me two electric blankets one year for Christmas. They are life in the winter!
14. the ability to share and reason with God; on a recent drive I was talking to God about all the things that make people special because He created us His image. (We can think, communicate, create, and are consciously aware- unlike other created beings.) Somewhere in my mental meanderings, I randomly wished that people could fly like birds. I felt like I heard a cheeky response to that wishful thought from the Holy Spirit: “I gave people a mind that allows them to fly.” I chuckled and answered back, “Touché, Jesus.”
15. sponges that have a textured side and a regular spongy side; They make cleaning so much more efficient!
16. polarized sunglasses; Dude. If you haven’t tried these at the beach, polarized sunglasses make a HUGE difference in visibility.
17. the fact that my husband likes to snuggle; I joke that I am a “Care Bear” because I like to cuddle so much. I am grateful God has given me a partner who never tires… and I mean never tires… of snuggles.
18. my nail tech; She is so sweet and kind. She diligently takes care of her parents and husband at home while making so many women feel better throughout her workday. She has no idea how special she is. God help her to know how special she is!
19. the night I was allowed to see the Holy Spirit; This experience not only changed my life but it anchors me in good times and in bad times.
20. my spouse’s laugh that is rich and heady like dark molasses
21. all the days spent out on the water growing up; I never knew what a blessing it was to have a boat until I got older. My brother and I learned to ski when we were just five-years-old. Summers at Raccoon Lake in Indiana were the best!
22. my daughter’s compassion for even perfect strangers; She never lets me or anyone else get away with treating others poorly.
23. travel; I simply love to travel, and I have been lucky over the past couple of years to visit so many new and wonderful places.
24. Red Wood Trees; I. LITERALLY. DIE.
25. my husband; Before time began, Jesus thought to create this whole other beautiful and kind person with me in mind. This reality drives me to my knees.
26. my son’s empathy; it takes bravery and courage to be an empathetic male.
27. music; I feel it. Music is transformative. It’s powerful. It can express what we are feeling unlike any other medium. What must music in heaven sound like? Sighhhh.
28. my mother’s loyalty that holds strong even through great trial; Her faithfulness is unwavering.
29. all the things my mom taught me; how to wrap a gift; how to make biscuits and gravy; how to clean a bathroom; how to say thank you!; how to be assertive; how to adult.
30. leather items; Real buttery leather is worth paying a little extra for.
31. the screened in back patio; I watch the sunrise and birds eat out of a little birdfeeder my husband set up from the patio. I drink coffee with Steve in the evening on the patio. The first warm nights after winter on the patio make me happy.
32. the typing class I took in 9th grade; I can think of no other class that has benefitted me more.
33. Indiana University; I completed my undergrad degree there. The grassy rolling hills campus is absolutely beautiful. Earth-toned mums will always be synonymous with fall in Bloomington, Indiana.
34. my dad’s service to his family throughout his entire life; Dad finished strong. I am so proud of him.
35. shoes; Ask my husband. I love shoes. One day, if God really wants to spoil me, I might own a pair of red-bottomed heeled Louis Vuitton’s.
36. my twin brother’s ahead-of-its-time book, The Omega Manifesto; If you haven’t read it, READ IT NOW! (Hey, Scott! Write an update, bro!)
37. all the different seasonings that make all the different savory dishes so yummy! Saffron, basil, cinnamon, and sumac are my favorites. Don’t forget Tony’s- I live in the south now ya’ll!
38. the ability to perceive time accurately; I now understand through first hand experience that not all people can correctly judge the passage of time or properly predict how much time a particular task will take. I had no idea that “time blindness” was even a thing until a couple of years ago. Time management and proper planning are gifts God has given me. Now that I understand how others struggle with these skills, I am very grateful to be born with a natural ability to perceive time and plan accordingly.
39. rainbows; They remind me of God’s grace. They also help me to remember that Noah was a real person- and he was faithful even when it was really really hard to be.
40. breastfeeding my babies; I will always be grateful for the time I was able to nourish my babies. The process is so miraculous!
41. earbuds; Can you imagine life without them now that we have them? I’m currently listening to a Phil Wickham song on repeat as I type this list using… earbuds.
42. USPS, Amazon, and Instacart; I don’t even have to leave the comfort of my home to get the things I want and need!
43. Francine Rivers; She authored my favorite book, Redeeming Love. Her personal testimony is amazing.
44. Palmer’s shea butter lotion; It’s the best- trust me on this.
45. Duolingo; I am learning Spanish using this app! It’s hard, but it is also engaging and fun.
46. photographs- both digital and hard copy; My dad is gone, but I still have pictures of him. My children are grown, but I can recall what they looked like as babies because some very smart men invented a way to capture light.
47. adoption; My spiritual adoption gives me eternal life. My earthly adoption gave me a family.
48. Valentine’s Day; It’s my favorite holiday because it celebrates love. What could be better than that?
49. the fact that God helps me be a better “bonus” parent; step-parenting is hard. The truths in Scripture help me to better navigate a blended family with grace and perseverance.
50. the YouTube channel I Am Second. Revelation 12:11 says that we are “saved by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony”. A testimony is a powerful tool in Abba Father’s arsenal to lead people to His Son. This YouTube Channel is full of real people sharing their real story of how they came to know Jesus.
51. Dani and Valerie; Friends are God’s greatest gifts.
52. Weathertech floormats; I didn’t know these existed until I started living on a dirt road and was complaining about how icky my car floors were getting. Steve bought me nifty new floormats that have not only protected my car from the dirt road, but they’ve also been super handy when Ubering around sandy beach tourists!
53. sleep; Rest, true magnificent rest, is a gift from above.
54. fall foliage; If I were writing a song for Julie Andrews; color leaves would make my “favorite things” list. Not only are on fire autumn trees beautiful, but the smell of fall is also just the best thing ever.
55. my beating heart; On average, my hard-working heart beats over 100,000 times a day. What kind of Mind could make such an organ? It’s mind-boggling.
56. my husband’s prayers; The other day, as we were going to sleep, I asked Steve, “What are you thinking about?” He said, “I’m praying.” “About what?” I asked. He said, “I just said to God, ‘I hope You had a good day, Jesus.'” My selfless husband. Instead of coming to God with a laundry list of wants, Steve cared about God’s feelings first. Ya’ll. I might have cried.
57. lipstick; Sometimes a girl just needs a little moisturizing color!
58. telescopes; Steve set up a telescope that allowed me to see Jupiter and Saturn for myself for the first time a couple of years ago. As I gazed at the magnified planets that evening, I thought of their Creator. Jesus made all this cool stuff in the heavens that up until recent history we could not see. I imagine God waiting patiently for men to invent things like telescopes and Hubble so that we could marvel and rejoice over all the wonderful things He has made.
59. self employment; I love working for myself and being my own boss.
60. answered prayers; From the trivial (“Help me find my keys, God!”) to the monumental (“Save my child!”), God hears me. I’ve learned that sometimes His answer is no. That’s hard to hear and live through. But God listens to my every thought and intention, and He cares so very deeply about the details. What a blessing to serve a God like this. What a humbling thing it is to know Jesus as a Friend.

I could keep going, but I don’t want to wax on forever and make this laborious to read. Instead, I’ll end by saying that having an “attitude of gratitude” is easy if you take the time to recognize the many many good gifts Our Father gives. Like any parent, I am certain God likes it when we take the time to thank Him for the care and provision He graciously gives.

Be thankful, my friends. Contentment follows a grateful heart.

My son, Noah, recently began running cross country. He loves it! It’s a rare opportunity for him to unleash his magnificent youthful maleness which, for the most part, usually must be contained or kept in check by rules, chairs, desks, and walls. He’s having a blast exploring the world by foot. In fact, Noah and his other cross country friends have campaigned for others to join in on the running fun. Their efforts must have been successful, because two other boys showed up to run for the first time last week.

Before they began to navigate the course, Noah and his friends warned the newbies to start off slow so they wouldn’t lose steam midway through the trail. However, this good advice was ignored. The newbies took off like gang busters (most likely trying to show off) and put quite a bit of distance between them and those who had already been running for a few practices. Predictably, about five minutes in, the newbies completely ran out of gas, and Noah and the other veteran runners passed them easily. Later on towards the end of the trail, one of the new racers actually passed out from overexertion!

Noah told this story in his usual animated cadence. He said in a frustrated voice, “We tried to tell them to start slow! We warned them! I don’t understand why they wouldn’t listen!” I nodded sagely as he vented. This was an obvious teaching moment that had been gift wrapped with a big red bow from Papa God.

I said, “Noah, what happened in practice is a very good analogy for all of life. When adults, like your mother, give you advice, most of the time we are giving it with the benefit of experience. We’ve already run the trail. We know what’s coming and know how to avoid the pitfalls.” I paused to admit that sometimes adults can be wrong if we are not listening to or following the Lord’s lead. “Obey God even before your parents,” I said. But then I concluded, “Most of the time adults’ advice can be trusted because we have already been where you are.”

Noah is used to my parenting style, so he responded to this impromptu counseling session with, “Yeah, yeah,” and we moved on to other topics. However, I continued to chew on the runners’ analogy long after Noah and I finished talking. I thought, “How many times do we question the Lord’s advice, or worse, ignore it all together in our ignorance, pride, or outright rebellion?”

Sometimes when God gives a command, we talk ourselves out of obeying because we rationalize that somehow our situation makes us the exception to the rule. In other cases, especially in the United States, Christians don’t obey the Lord because we have no idea what His instructions are. In other words, we don’t take the time to read the Scriptures to know what God actually says.

Unfortunately, when we disobey the Lord’s good advice whether intentionally or unintentionally, we will end up like those runners who lose steam midway through the race. We can even pass out and be taken out of the faith race altogether. The Bible says, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” (Hosea 4:6) This isn’t hyperbole. We really do decimate our lives and the lives of other people through our disobedience, which is sin.

God is the ultimate trail blazer. Jesus walked the faith road before us. He gave up everything to be our model, to go ahead of us, and to show us the way. Not only that, Papa God is the perfect Parent. He has the eternal picture in mind when He says things like, “Pick up your cross and follow me.” His ways are higher than ours and His love is limitless.

If Jesus is really Lord and King of the universe, then we must do what He says. We must recognize that we are clay and He is the Potter. Even if we disagree, even if we don’t understand… we must submit to His Word and trust that Father knows best. Because… He does.

Today is the last day of school. It’s a pretty relaxed day in class. The work is done, grades have been calculated, and summer fun and relaxation are calling. To entertain themselves, my 5th graders are currently building forts out of blankets, desks, and chairs. It’s fun to see them work as teams and use their creativity to make little nooks around the room.

“These forts are good!” I say silently. As soon as I think this thought, I hear the Spirit whisper, “Not all forts are good.”

Sigh. No. No they are not.

Today I’d like to talk about of unforgiveness. It’s probably the single most important blog I’ve ever written because I’ve seen first hand how damaging unforgiveness can be. If our sin is the fire that burns down a house, unforgiveness is the lighter fluid.

To demonstrate, it’s best to lay out a very true to life scenario from its beginning to tragic end. Sadly, a tired version of this story happens over and over again.

1. Someone does something to you to cause offense. Your spouse forgets your birthday. Your boss doesn’t notice the hard work you’ve done. Your mother-in-law is overly critical of your parenting decisions.

I wish we could avoid #1. But we can’t. We all have offended or will be offensive at some point in our lives because we live in a fallen world with fallen people. The problem begins when we refuse to deal with the offense in a Godly way.

2. Instead of doing the hard work of going to the Lord to talk to Him about the offense so that He can walk you through it, you hang on to the anger and pain like a shield. In this stage of unforgiveness, angry rash words are said. Those hurtful words are like salt on an open wound. Rifts begin. The silent treatment and stalemates abound. (FYI: Anger is usually pain’s bodyguard.)

You may feel completely justified in refusing to forgive another person because the offender has repeatedly shown an established pattern of hurtful behavior that does not change. You think, “I’m never going to be vulnerable again! All she ever does is hurt or disappoint me!” This is when the first blocks of a fort called Stronghold are laid. Instead of remaining open, you begin to build invisible walls to protect yourself from being hurt again. However, what you don’t understand is that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

3. Self righteousness seeps in somewhere along the line. You forget how much you’ve been forgiven. You stand on top of the bricks you’ve laid and proudly pronounce, “I’ would never do that! She doesn’t deserve a second chance.” Meanwhile you forget that God considers gossip and slander grievous sins. Self righteousness is incredibly offensive to Jesus because we have all fallen short of His glory.

4. The fort called Stronghold is complete. With hardened resolve you declare, “I am never (never ever) forgiving that person again. I won’t be made a fool!” This is when you check out of the relationship. You shut the offender down and totally close off your heart.

At this point, the poisonous effects of unforgiveness in your heart are starting to show. The Bible teaches that unforgiveness is a bitter root. It takes time for that ugly root to burrow down deep and grow into an ugly warped tree. So, when the root of unforgiveness finally produces ugly fruit, you are in deep spiritual trouble. A small weed is easy to pull out of your garden. A fruit tree is hard work to remove.

And what is the fruit of unforgiveness? Bitterness. Resentment. Hostility. Anger. Fear. The fruit is the stuff that rips marriages in two and incinerates churches. As it does, our malicious ruthless enemy dances victoriously around the flames and rejoices over the carnage and ash.

Like I said, if sin is the fire that burns down the house, unforgiveness is the lighter fluid that speeds up the wicked process.

Stubborn Julie is sick and tired of being sick of tired of seeing Satan win in our relationships. Christ won 2,000 years ago at Calvary, and so we should win. It makes me madder than a wet hen when our enemy gets any lost ground back.

Good Christians, in order to keep the victorious high ground God’s Son gave us through His precious blood, we have to submit to God’s command to forgive. Obedience is hard- so hard- but the rewards are worth it. As we submit to God, the enemy will flee (James 4:7).

First of all, forgiveness is not optional for a believer in Jesus Christ. To demonstrate why, the Lord Jesus told a parable that can be found in Matthew 18. In the story, a servant owned his master ten thousand talents. This amount would be equivalent to several million dollars. Because the master was merciful, he forgave his servant’s debt. However, later on, the same servant who had been forgiven would not forgive another servant a hundred denarii- or a day’s wage worth approximately sixteen cents. The master heard about this and summoned his servant saying, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” The master then threw the servant in jail until his multi-million dollar debt was paid. Jesus finished the story with this warning,

“So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Folks, we owe God a debt we cannot possibly pay. We have sinned and offended a holy God. We are law breakers who fall short of His perfected glory every single day. However, because our Master is merciful, He sent His Son Jesus to pay for the debt we couldn’t possibly pay on our own. Through Christ, we have been forgiven. Therefore, when we refuse to forgive another, we are like the wicked servant in the parable.

Matthew 6:15 contains the single most sobering warning in all of Scripture concerning unforgiveness:

“But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Gulp. That’s pretty clear. Like I said, forgiveness is not optional! It’s a command. We have to forgive if we want God to forgive us. And boy do I need God’s forgiveness. I need it every single day. Furthermore, people who recognize how much Jesus has forgiven them have no problem with offering forgiveness to others. They give grace and mercy freely. Jesus said that those who have been forgiven much love much (Luke 7:47). Are you having a hard time loving people lately? You probably have unforgiveness in your heart.

I want to focus a bit on self righteousness because the Lord hates it so much. As item #3 on the list showed, self righteousness (aka pride) is always part of unforgiveness. Here are some examples of self righteous statements:

• “I would never do something like that! How could you do this to me?” This is a self righteous statement. We all have our individual issues that may not be a struggle for someone else! Remember the pesky parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector? A refresher: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’ And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Luke 18:10-14)
• “I’ve forgiven you before, and you didn’t change. I’m not forgiving you again!” Golly! What if Jesus treated us this way? I’m so glad that He doesn’t!
• “I’m right. She is wrong!” Self righteous people are unteachable and are usually unwilling to examine their role in conflict. Jeremiah 2:35 says, ‘Because I am innocent, surely His anger shall turn from me.’ Behold, I will plead My case against you, Because you say, ‘I have not sinned.’” Self righteous people don’t say sorry because they don’t see their faults. But guess what? God does.
• “Well, I’m justified in acting this way (bitter, angry, resentful) because of what she did. She did this to me! She’s why I am the way I am!” Maybe this isn’t very nice to say, but this excuse is #lame. “Jesus demonstrated His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”~Romans 5:8 God did not use our sin as an excuse to treat us poorly. Because we are in Christ, we have been given a new heart and have the mind of Jesus. We cannot use someone else’s bad behavior to justify our own. Ever.

If you hear yourself saying any of these statements, run, don’t walk, to the Lord in prayer to hash it out with Him. I guarantee you’ll walk away from that conversation humbled and with a different more heavenly perspective.

Finally, I cannot talk about unforgiveness without warning about the demonic activity it brings. I once spoke to a couple who have a deliverance ministry. They have prayed for many people experiencing great oppression and even demonic possession throughout the years. This couple found that the single common trait oppressed/possessed souls share is- you guessed it- unforgiveness. Scripture supports their findings.

Ephesians 4:26 says, “”In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Unforgiveness is an open door for demonic activity in your house. Is there strife and division in your family? The source is most likely unforgiveness. Some sicknesses have their root in unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness is the worst kind of poison. I exhort you with all I have to get it out of your heart! If for no other reason, forgive out of selfish reasons- it’s an act of self preservation to forgive!

Believe me when I say that I understand that forgiveness is hard when someone has hurt you repeatedly. Sometimes it is impossible to forgive in our own strength. However, with God all things are possible. If you are having difficultly obeying the Lord’s command to forgive, ask Him for help. Don’t try to do it on your own. When you do ask for help, Jesus’s power will give you the grace to forgive. Christ can uproot that ugly unforgiveness tree and stop its destructive fruit from ruining your life.

Tear down the fort of unforgiveness in your heart, and tear it down quickly, for it is certainly not good!

A verse to bring the point home:

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22)

By saying we are to forgive those who sin against us seventy times seven, Jesus was not limiting forgiveness to 490 times. Jesus was teaching us that Christians are to never limit the number of times we forgive. We should continue to forgive with as much grace the thousandth time as we do the first time. Christians are only capable of this type of forgiveness because the Spirit of God lives within us, and it is He who enables us to offer forgiveness over and over, just as God forgives us over and over.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8bz8laZZFc

Several years ago when Noah was still swishing around in diapers, I used to love to watch a show on TLC called A Birth Story. The show’s premise was to document an expecting couple’s experiences as they prepared for and finally delivered their child. I was drawn to the program because I loved to “meet” different couples from all walks of life and discover how bringing a baby into the world unites us all. Plus, the babies were just too cute to resist! At the end of every episode, the producers would inevitably ask the new parents what their hopes and dreams were for their infant son or daughter. Almost 100% of the time, the new mom and dad would answer with something along the lines of, “We just want our child to grow up to be happy.”

Though the parents were obviously loving and well-intentioned in their response, my head would fall into my hands in frustration and sadness. Yet another couple and consequently another beautiful child were going to miss the purpose of life.

Which brings me to the purpose of this writing…

Just what is the point of it all? Why are we here?

I can assure you that the purpose of life is not personal happiness. Through His grace, the Lord has helped me to realize that chasing happiness is an entirely selfish pursuit. When we pursue happiness, we put our wishes, hopes, and dreams first. This is the very definition of selfish living. Predictably, when our entire motivation for life is selfish at its core, we end up disappointed, disillusioned, and yes, even angry when our wants and needs aren’t met exactly how we had hoped. The current divorce rate, the rise of Pfizer stock, and the ever increasing length of the self help aisle at the local bookstore prove my point.

There’s a better way to do life! Wise Jesus tells us how to find life fulfillment in Matthew 6:33:

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

In these simple words, the Lord defines our purpose. First, God instructs us to seek His Kingdom. What is the Lord’s Kingdom like? In Jesus’s Kingdom, love and service to others reign. Papa God works tirelessly to heal and restore broken relationships. Christ’s mission on earth was to reconcile our broken relationship with God. So, as Christ’s disciples, we too should be about our Father’s business of love, service, and reconciliation.

Secondly, Jesus teaches His disciples to seek His righteousness. We are to thirst for Christ’s goodness. His purity far surpasses any good that can be drummed up through mere human effort. It’s holy. It’s magnificent and white hot in it’s beauty. When I look around this fallen, damp, and chaotic world, boy do I ever wish for Jesus’s purity of heart. Oh that I would be like Jesus! My heart burns in my chest when I think about the wonder of my Savior. He is altogether lovely and beautiful. I yearn to be daily transformed into the luminous creature that He has called me to be. I passionately pray to stick out not because of a bad attitude or because of the things that I have acquired and accomplished in life, but to break forth like shocking lightning in a black sky because He has molded me into His image. Full of grace and truth.

In short, we are to crave holiness, not happiness.

Incredibly though, when we seek Christ’s kingdom and His righteousness before all things, something miraculous happens. Contained in the final part of Matthew 6:33 is a promise. When we give God primary position in our lives, the Lord is faithful to give us what our sanctified hearts wish for. Because Abba is a good Father, He delights in lavishing His love and blessings on us. However, just as any good parent on earth does not want to spoil their children, Papa God does not want spoiled sons and daughters. So, we have to learn selfless love and righteous living before He can give us the desires of our heart.

We can’t leave God out of the equation and expect to find happiness. We. just. Can’t. This was why I was so saddened by the couples’ answers on A Baby Story. They missed it. They failed to realize or understand our purpose for being and were setting up their lovely children for lives of emptiness and oftentimes misery.

Personally, John chapter 15 is my most treasured chapter in all of Scripture. Christ’s last words to us before He suffered and died are so precious, elegant, impassioned, and important. For the record, my paltry commentary on these verses seems trite. Therefore, I would lovingly advise you to read Christ’s beautiful Words without my thoughts interrupting them and then bask in their profound perfection through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Soak in John 15 in its entirety when you can.

However, for the purposes to this writing, I want to point to a particular portion of Jesus’s beautiful speech:

In John 15:11-13, Jesus says, “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”

Here Jesus is speaking of joy. His joy.

What is joy? Joy is something that transcends happiness. Joy is strength in troubled waters. Joy sustains us through pain and disappointments. Joy wraps around our bones and sinews to buttress our body in the wind and heartbreak. Joy helmets our mind so that seasons of doubt cannot capsize our faith. Joy is shining steel in the rain. Joy is knowing Christ’s love and the power of His resurrection.

How do we find joy? Christ tells us in John 15: by loving each other as Christ loves us. We find precious solid joy, not flimsy fleeting happiness, through selfless living.

Last August, I began editing sermons for radio. This means that I’ve spent approximately 15-20 hours a week listening to the Word of God.

The past 10 months of listening and editing has been quite an experience. The Lord has sat me atop His wings and taken me on a wild ride in the heavens. I’ve gotten a wholistic view of what He’s done throughout the ages. It has been a radical view. I’ve cried. I’ve pounded my fist on the desk. I’ve shouted. I’ve temporarily slinked away from the voice coming through my headphones, too convicted to continue listening. Most of all, I’ve learned. Let me say with all the fierceness I can convey through weak human words: Jesus. Is. Beautiful.

I could stay right there for the rest of this post- writing about the loftiness that is my Savior. The greatness that is Christ. The glory of my King. But alas, that is not today’s purpose.

What I want to talk about today is the wholistic heavenly vision I’ve been given the privilege of glimpsing through radio edits. The most important takeaways I’ve gleaned from hours and hours of listening and learning can be summed up in three words: brokenness, sufficiency and dependency.

Brokenness

Those that say, “I’m a good person” are deceived by their own hearts. That may sound harsh, but it’s true. To these folks I would say this: “Yeah- you’re a “good” person according to man’s standards. But God doesn’t judge according to man’s standards. He’s not broken like we are. He doesn’t make mistakes. According to God’s holy standard, we are all a hot mess.” The Bible puts it this way: our righteousness is filthy rags. Those that foolishly self justify have not gotten a revelation of the glory, majesty and holiness of Jesus.

Many skeptics read the Old Testament stories and accuse God of being harsh or even malicious. They are wrong. WE are the ones that are harsh and malicious.

I have visited the Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky a couple of times. Guests begin their tour with creation exhibits and then walk through others that portray the timeline of Biblical history. When I arrived at the flood exhibits, I could barely continue. No, I wasn’t overwhelmed by the horror of the world wide disaster (although it is admittedly upsetting). What completely tore me apart was God’s grace.

Before the flood, the Bible says that “people did evil all the time”. Can you even imagine what that must have been like for our Lord? (What do earthly fathers feel when their children do awful things? How much more did our Abba feel hurt and grief!?) Nobody called upon their Creator for help. No one cared about God or His will for their lives at all. Nobody except for one: Noah. Noah was a righteous man living in an unprecedented evil time. So, God gave Noah plans to build an ark and patiently waited for Noah to finish it. While Noah built that big boat, the Bible says that the earth “was filled with violence”.

As I walked through the flood exhibits that day at the museum, I thought, “Father, how do You endure us? Why didn’t You just throw us out and start again? That’s what we, humans, would do!” I understood that God has absolutely no obligation to put up with rebellious humanity. In fact, because He is God (and we are not), He has every right to zap us into oblivion.

But the Lord doesn’t destroy us, because He loves us. God is so long suffering and patient that it defies human understanding. So, when those skeptics say that the Lord is malicious or vengeful, they are merely showing how foolish and ignorant they are.

Unfortunately the flood is just one of the many stories in the Old Testament that demonstrate our utter brokenness. We are disobedient, lustful, vengeful, prideful, envious, and full of hatred. We even selfishly inflict pain on those we love. Personal “countries” divide because of the hardness of our hearts. Husband and wives separate. Children disobey their parents. Parents cut off children. We war with each other just as countries war. National divisions are larger demonstrations of our individual brokenness.

Much blood, sweat, and tears has been shed in an effort to “fix” our brokenness problem. It’s no use though. Whenever we try to fix it ourselves, do religious works, or act piously to cover up our hard hearts, we eventually fail. We make promises and promptly break them. We pull up our boot straps in determination to do good but then give up when the memory of our moral resolve fades or temptation calls.

The simple truth is this: we aren’t good and we can’t be good. All have failed. All have fallen short of God’s perfection. No matter how hard we’ve tried throughout the ages, we have never been able to cross the gulf that exists between God and man.

What’s more, we stand guilty before the Lord. We deserve punishment. Because He is a good Judge, He has to punish us for our rebellion- the same rebellion that was there before the flood, the same disobedience that has always been since the fall. Our destination in the next life is hell because we’ve broken God’s laws over and over again. We are broken and powerless to do anything about our brokenness.

Sufficiency

The good news is that there is hope for all of us who admit we are irrevocably broken.

God knew that we could never be good on our own. So, in a calculated move so compassionate and astounding that the angels watched in amazement, God emptied Himself of glory to become a man named Jesus. Jesus lived a perfect life and then took our just punishment upon Himself as He hung on the cross and died. For God so loved the world that He gave His One and only Son. Then Jesus rose again to prove once and for all His triumph over sin and death.

Folks… Jesus’s sacrifice was sufficient. He covers us and makes us righteous. We cannot be righteous on our own. History proves that we can’t be right or good. So, Jesus was right and good for us. HE DID IT. His shoulders are broad enough to carry us all into heaven. His blood is enough to erase all of our mistakes. His grace surpasses understanding. His compassion and mercy are beyond anything you or I have ever known.

Oh what a Savior. What a magnificent, triumphant, glorious Savior.

Christ’s sacrifice is sufficient to make you and I righteous. All we need to do is trust in His righteousness to be saved. That’s it. No human effort at all- because as we’ve learned- human effort fails every time. However, God’s effort on the cross is enough. It’s MORE than enough!

Dependency

So what is our response to such a sufficient sacrifice? The New Testament teaches people who have put their trust in Jesus’ sacrifice to be totally dependent upon God. Christ is the only One Who can save us. Furthermore, just as we couldn’t save ourselves from our sins, we also cannot make ourselves more holy on our own. We need Christ’s power to save us just as we need His power to sustain us each day. As we depend on Jesus, we become more like Him. This process is called sanctification. Becoming like Jesus is a lifelong process, and it is a work that God promises in great faithfulness to complete.

The Bible warns us not go back to trying to work to earn God’s favor. The moment we slip back into the old pattern of trying to earn our way to heaven is the very moment we will fall. Again, the Old Testament and all of history prove that we can’t be good on our own. But, glory to God, Jesus is good… so we trust in His goodness and obey Him. There is nothing else that we need to do!

We simply must depend on Christ’s sacrifice like little children depend upon their parents to care for them. God can be trusted, and it is His joy to provide for His children.

My days editing sermons are coming to a rapid close. I recently got hired to teach a 4th and 5th grade split classroom at a small little Christian school here in Alabama. It’s a dream job! The school days are from 8-1:30 (yes!), and my children will matriculate there next year- every mother’s dream. We all start next fall.

While I was excited to accept the job and knew it was God’s will, I was also extremely nervous. I’ve never taught elementary kiddos before (well, with the exception of homeschooling my own 5th grader, Noah). My degree is in secondary education- high school is my specialty. However, I haven’t taught in years. Before moving to Alabama, I was an administrative assistant for 3 1/2 years. I was a nurse’s assistant before that! So, like a brand new teacher coming out of university, I knew I’d have to create each day’s lesson plans from scratch, learn all new curriculum, buy room decor, decorate my room to make it engaging and inviting, etc. etc. etc. Whenever I stopped to think about the amount of work I’d just inherited, I was a little overwhelmed. It prompted me to pray! I was also confessing this truth: “God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness.”

Last week I went to the school to chat with the current 4-5 teacher before she left. I wanted to get my barrings and peruse the curriculum for the first time. Within 10 minutes of meeting this teacher, I was almost in tears and quite literally jumping for joy.

The lady is retiring, so she is leaving everything to me! Hundreds of novels and books. All of the room decorations. Because this person is very organized, she has a binder filled with lesson plans and detailed assignments from every single day of the 2015-2016 year. The worksheets are even there for me. Jackpot!

How could I have doubted God’s provision? Of COURSE He would provide for me! He always has. He always does. Time after time after time. As I drove home from the school, I could almost hear the Spirit whisper to me, “Oh ye of little faith!”

Dependency is a good thing- even if it feels a bit unfamiliar. We need Jesus. He’s not a crutch. He is life itself!

So- to sum it up:

*We are broken.
*Christ’s sacrifice is sufficient to fix our brokenness.
*We need only to depend upon Jesus to be saved and live holy lives.

This is the Gospel. It is God’s plan for salvation. It is the only salve for our ravaged souls.

So, dear one… what will you do now that you know… now that you’ve heard the story of all stories?