Hello fellow readers!

Yes, I’m alive. Thank you for continuing to check in to see if I’ve written. I will write more soon. Until then, lemme just say that life is throwing many changes my way. I’m a bit scared, but mostly excited for a new chapter to begin that involves a move from Indiana to the Alabama coast. The entire family moves with no jobs, no house, and no definitive plans except this:

Jesus.

He will have to open the door, pave the way, provide when we can’t, and just show Himself to be the God that I know He is: the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of David, of Jonah, Elijah, and Malachi. The very same God that Mary sang about when she said:

“My soul glorifies the Lord
     and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
    of the humble state of his servant.
from now on all generations will call me blessed,
     for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
    holy is his name.
His mercy extends to those who fear him,
    from generation to generation.
He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
    he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
He has brought down rulers from their thrones
    but has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
    but has sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
    remembering to be merciful
to Abraham and his descendants forever,
    just as he promised our ancestors.”

I am Abraham’s daughter and I am a daughter of the Most High King. Jesus is my portion forever, and I echo my sister Mary when I sing,

“Holy is His name.”

I’ve always loved the story Anne of Green Gables. After watching the movie for the first time, I wanted to move to Prince Edward Island, wear lace and satin dresses with puffed sleeves, and travel through iridescent winter snow in a sleigh. For those of you that don’t know the story, Anne of Green Gables tells the tale of a little orphan girl who is adopted by an elderly brother and sister, Marilla and Matthew Cuthbert. Anne is dramatic, dreadfully obnoxious about the hatred she has for her own red hair, and absolutely endearing in her charm. Shortly after Anne moves in with the Cuthberts, Anne meets and becomes friends with her raven haired neighbor, Diana Barry. Anne, with her typical flair for words, proclaims Diana as her “bosom friend” and a “kindred spirit.” The two best friends live their childhoods and eventually adult lives together loving each other and encouraging each other in all circumstances.

Growing up, my kindred spirit was my brother. We did battle together as toddlers and in early childhood sharing traumatic experiences living in a children’s home and then later foster homes. Our scars bound us for life. As we grew, our relationship never faltered. Because Scott was my twin, we could do the spooky twin thing by thinking alike and finishing each other’s sentences. We had our own language and inside jokes. Scott would simply make a facial expression, and I would comprehend a reference he was making in just that one look. My response to these sly funny expressions was usually to bust a gut laughing. My poor confused parents were always asking in reaction to these giggling outbursts, “What are you laughing about now, Julie?” Try as they might, Mom and Dad never did comprehend our “twin speak”. Scott recently moved hundreds of miles away from home. However, we are still intimately connected often sharing similar thoughts, observations, and emotions at the same time regardless of the distance.

While fictional Anne and Diana and very real Scott and I have all enjoyed the benefits of having a bosom friend, I submit that there is a level of relationship even deeper than that of a kindred spirit: fellowship. Fellowship requires a spiritual bond among those who have been given God’s Name at their spiritual rebirth.

“Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”(John 3:5)

Children of God share the same Heavenly Father. We have a commonality that is difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced it. I’m determined, however, to try.

During the summer after I graduated from college with a degree in education, I searched diligently for two things: a teaching job and a Christian friend. I hustled all over town dropping off resumes throughout the months of June and July. Many days as I drove to yet another school dressed in casual business attire, I prayed for a Christian friend. I was still wet behind the in this faith walk with Jesus, and I needed someone to council and walk with me. A week before the start of the 2003-2004 school year, I still had yet to find a job or a new friend. I was desperate.

In a last ditch effort to find employment, I got out a giant phone book, opened to the blue “government agencies” section, and started calling schools with names that began with the letter “A”. I asked over and over again as I moved down the list, “Do you have any openings in the social studies department?” Over and over again, I got a negative response. Finally, when I called a school named New Beginnings, the receptionist answered with a surprising, “Yes, we do. When are you able to come in for an interview?”

I interviewed the next day and knew intuitively before I got a call back that the job was mine. God had saved this position just for me. By the end of the week, the principal of New Beginnings showed me my new classroom, and I began painting the room a sunny yellow color in an attempt to make an inviting place for students. It was in this school working at my first “grown up” job that I met Lacheena, my first Christian friend.

Lacheena was the English teacher down the hall who also happened to serve as an associate pastor at a local church. Cheena was very open about her relationship with God. Not one to waste an opportunity, I pounced on the chance to learn. In fact, I probably drove her nuts with my wide eyed persistence those first few months. As our relationship blossomed from coworkers to friends, we began to spend more time together. She invited me to a Gospel concert where I delighted in exuberant African American style worship for the first time. Cheena and I began going out to lunch together almost daily. New Beginnings was located within blocks of “The Circle”, or the epicenter of Indianapolis. We hopped around downtown trying different cuisines and having great conversations. Every day at lunch that first year, Cheena would prompt me to pray when the food arrived by saying, “Bless the food Julie.” Always I declined because I was afraid that my simple prayer would sound silly or trite compared to Cheena’s eloquent prayers. Instead of judging me for my refusal, my friend would simply nod, thank Jesus for our meal, and proceed with lunch. One day, however, I bravely assented to praying before we ate. I prayed. Cheena cried.

Eventually, I began attending Lacheena’s church not caring that I was one of three white folks in the congregation. I brought my Bible to work daily as my faith grew, and we’d encourage each other with Scripture. We fasted together. I danced with her on the church’s praise dance team. My daughter Zoe and I went on vacation with Cheena, her son, and her nephew to Orlando. When I wrecked the rental car in a driveway after the trip to Florida, she hugged me and let me cry over my silly yet costly mistake. When I discovered something new in Scripture or in prayer, I called her. When I had a bad day, Cheena always listened to my plight. When I gave birth to Noah, she came to pray for my son. Simply put, we walked together for two years.

One day during this season of my life, my mother asked me over a cup of Chinese black tea why I liked Lacheena so much. I needed no time to answer this important question. I simply answered, “She’s real, Mom.”

Before I met Cheena, I wrongly thought that I had to be perfect to be a Believer. Growing up, I went to church every Sunday and saw folks dressed up in their Sunday best never recognizing that they were also wearing their Sunday masks. I wrongly thought that these church goers had it all together. As a little girl and then a teenager, I inwardly compared their imagined perfect lives to my messiness and knew I would and could never measure up.

Then came my friend Cheena. She wore no masks. She was open about her struggles, and testified to God’s grace and love. She found freedom in Christ, and because of the Lord’s goodness, Jesus used her to open my prison doors so that I too could live free. Her example crushed any doubt that God could love me for me, brokenness and all. It was only then that I was able to break out of religion and its mandates that bark out orders to “work” for a relationship with God. I exchanged this religious slavery for Jesus’s extravagant grace. Finally, I understood what this verse really meant:

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Because of my friendship with Cheena, I was made better. A part of my soul was healed. God’s Word became flesh when Cheena’s life’s testimony displayed the truth of Ephesians 2:8-9.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Eventually job changes, a marriage, and Lacheena’s relocation to Kentucky caused a needed shift in our close friendship. These God directed changes would grow our faith even more. However, no matter the distance or time, we will always be eternal sisters.

The above (hopefully) demonstrates the fundamental difference between the world’s definition of friendship and God’s sanctified version that He calls fellowship. Friends love each other just as they are. Those in fellowship love each other just as they are, but they also spur each other on to do better. Fellowship builds up character, honor, justice, and love through brave transparency.

A few years down the road after drinking that cup of tea with my mother and trying to explain unexplainable fellowship, she and I signed up to take a women’s Bible study together. After the third or fourth session, mom exclaimed with childlike wonder, “These women, Julie! They are amazing!” I smiled and nodded knowingly in the passenger seat as we drove home. Mom saw perhaps for the first time in her life what true fellowship looked like throughout the course of the study. Fellowship is richer and fuller than anything worldly relationships have to offer.

Just yesterday as I was working on this post, my mother approached me at my desk at work to talk about what happened during her last Sunday’s church service. A man with a terminally ill spouse openly sought refuge in front of the congregation. He testified that he could not have imagined being anywhere else during such a difficult time. This grieving man was prayed for by his spiritual brothers and sisters and enveloped in tangible supporting love. Mom was moved to tears even a day later as she relayed all she had seen and heard.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

A final illustration to bring the point home…

A few weeks ago, I texted my neighbor “Amy” to ask if she wanted to take a walk. If you have been reading my blog at all, you know that Amy is an outspoken atheist, humanist, Christopher Hitchens loving post-modernist. Although we obviously have differing worldviews, I love her dearly and pray for her almost daily. It is a strange friendship, but one that I cherish. Anyway, she agreed walk with me. Actually, Amy gracefully glided down the path (the girl does triathlons for fun) while I huffed and puffed to try to keep up with what she probably thought was a painfully slow pace. As we walked, she talked about work relationships, and I chatted about a project that was occupying the majority of my time. At some point, the topic of conversation moved to friendship. Amy loves her girlfriends and cherishes girl time. Although she has been married for five years, she still cultivates these important friendships and makes them a priority. In fact, she declared, “If (my husband) were to ever do me wrong, I would run to my girls. They will always be there for me.” As I was silently pondering the implications of this philosophy, she observed the wheels turning in my brain. When I continued to say nothing in response, she prompted, “Wouldn’t you go to your girls too?” I answered with a simple “yeah” because it’s true. I would go to my girlfriends for support. However, what I did not say was that my friends would advise me so differently in her hypothetical circumstance that I found it difficult to equate the two. For example, if our spouses “did us wrong”,

Amy’s friends would say, “We’re here for you. We love you.”

My friends would say, “We love you, but Christ loves you more.”

Amy’s friends would say (especially if the issue were infidelity), “Forget about him. He doesn’t deserve you anyway.”

My friends would say, “While Christ does allow divorce when your partner has been unfaithful, He also asks us to pursue reconciliation. Those who have been forgiven much are asked to forgive. 70X7! (Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:22)

Amy’s friends would comfort her with a night out and maybe even buy her a cocktail. They might even have a few choice words for her husband.

My friends would pray with me and for me. They would also pray for Jason. They would love him too.

In addition to our very different views of friendship, I was also quietly concluding as I walked that Amy and I have very different views on marriage. She hangs on to her autonomy, while I ask God to unite Jason and I. I believe that Amy’s friends and her own very modern independence, whether she is consciously aware of it are not, are her backup plan just in case her marriage fails. With God’s grace and teaching, I have surrendered all backup plans in favor of Jesus’s plan for marriage that makes two become one flesh.

The crux of the friendship v. fellowship matter is this: worldly friends counsel us to do whatever makes us happy. “Follow your heart” is the supportive friend’s motto. In contrast, Godly friends counsel us to strive to be more like Jesus. This usually means the denial of self, the suppressing of thorny emotions that can easily tangle us up, and loving the way God loves through the power of the Spirit. Finally, fellowship is most beautiful because all who share in it and break bread in Jesus’s Name know that our relationships will never fade away. We all will be together in paradise one day.

The Apostle John said to his readers, “We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.” (1 John 1:3)

I am taking a break from my usual story format to talk about what’s been heavy on my heart the past few days: the state of the Church in America.

A few years ago, I volunteered at my home church to lead a group Bible study in my local community.  Because of my inexperience, church leadership chose to team me up with another couple.  I phoned the couple at home and spoke to the husband (I’ll call him Thomas).  We agreed to have lunch together one afternoon at a local deli to meet for the first time and talk about the possibilities.

The day of our meeting, I ate my club sandwich, said few words, and mostly listened.  As I payed close attention to Thomas’s words, I became increasingly alarmed by what I heard coming from his mouth.  Thomas quoted the writings of Rob Bell, a well-known leader in emergent church movement.  Bell’s writings question the existence of hell and even suggest universal salvation (aka all men will be saved).  Stunned by what Thomas was saying, I very clearly stated that I disagreed with both him and Bell because it went against the teachings of the Bible, and then made a hasty retreat to my car.  After praying about it, I phoned church leadership to say I wouldn’t be working with Thomas and his wife because I believed that they would be teaching false doctorine.  I can only hope that my phone call served as the warning I hoped it would be.

The fact that the existence of hell could be questioned by Bell, Thomas, or anyone else claiming to be a Believer is, quite frankly, beyond me.  Here are some New Testament references that make hell’s existence painfully clear:

• Hell is a fate worse than being drowned in the sea (Mark 9:42).
• It is worse than any earthly suffering—even being maimed (Matthew 5:29–30; Mark 9:43).
• The suffering never ends (Matthew 25:41; Mark 9:48).
• The wicked will be “burned with unquenchable fire” (Matthew 3:12).
• Those in hell will be thrown into the fiery furnace and will experience unimaginable sorrow, regret, remorse, and pain. The fire produces the pain described as “weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 8:12; 13:42, 50; 22:13; 24:51; 25:30).
• The intensity of the suffering seems to be according to the wickedness of the person’s behavior (Romans 2:5–8).
• Hell is utterly fearful and dreadful (Hebrews 10:27–31).
• This punishment is depicted as “coming misery,” “eating flesh with fire,” and the “day of slaughter” (James 5:1–5).
• Those in hell will feel the full force of God’s fury and wrath (Revelations 14:10).
• They will be “tormented” with fire (Revelation 14:10–11).
• This suffering is best understood as endless since the “smoke of their torment rises forever and ever” (Revelation 14:11).
• This suffering is constant because it is said that those in hell “will have no rest day or night” (Revelation 14:11) and
• “will be tormented day and night forever and ever” (Revelation 20:10).

References from http://theresurgence.com/2011/03/14/to-hell-with-hell (Yes, I read every word of this source and believe it to be Scripturally sound! 😉 )

Universal salvation is also simply not Biblical.  Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No man comes to the Father but by me.” (John 14:6)  While the invitation for salvation is universal  (John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.”), only those that believe Jesus and His message of repentance and forgiveness of sins will be allowed to “come to the Father”.   For those that doubt this fact, I ask: “If there was another way to heaven, then why would Father God send His Son Jesus to die?” 

Thomas, like many others today, believed lies he had heard in the marketplace of ideas and then quickly began perpetuating those deceptions.  Instead of getting his truth from the Bible and Bible alone, he believed what somebody else said the Bible teaches.  Even more damning, Thomas lazily never took the time to compare the teachings of Rob Bell to Scripture itself.  Unfortunately there are millions out there just like Thomas being deceived.  Instead of researching Scripture for themselves, folks take the easy yet very dangerous road of passivity.  These ill-informed fools let wolves, disguised in sheep’s clothing, feed them lies to their ultimate destruction.  (Yes, I said fools.  Research the Biblical definition of a fool! Read Proverbs!) 

Rob Bell’s teachings on universal salvation and no eternal punishment are a whole lot more appealing to a person steeped in today’s “PC” culture where pluralism, multiculturalism, and diversity are held in higher esteem than truth.  The Bible predicts times like these.  Paul’s warning to Timothy is absolutely true of the American church: “For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.”  The “Christianity” described in pulpits across our country is a watered down more palpable religion- but it is not the Christianity of the Bible.  I admit that there are many times I don’t want to hear the truth because the truth means I have to change!  However, I have learned through time and experience that choosing to be wise and heed the truth will lead to joy, peace and LIFE! 

An argument I’ve heard from those struggling to believe (or not wanting to believe) the Bible is this: “The Scriptures we read today cannot be trusted.  Like a game of telephone can change a message, time and translations have changed the contents of the Bible.”  When I hear someone say this, I roll my eyes.  Instantly I know that the person spouting this silliness has done absolutely no research.  It is simply NOT true that the Scriptures have changed over time.  The Bible, unlike any other document, can be counted on!  Nabeel Qureshi, a former Muslim now convert to Christianity says it succinctly:

“First, while there are indeed many variations of the Bible obtained from more than 5,000 Greek manuscripts, there is such a large amount of early manuscript evidence and such a concordance between those manuscripts that we can reconstruct the Bible and be certain of about 95% of the original content. Second, no doctrine of the Bible is in jeopardy by any of the variations. Third, there are so many quotations of and references to the New Testament from the ancient world that we can reconstruct practically all of it from early quotations alone. Fourth, there are multiple fragments of manuscripts that can be dated to within a couple of centuries after Christ’s death which we have in our possession even now (the earliest dating to less than 100 years after Christ, 125 AD). Fifth, whole copies of the Bible are available from around three centuries after Christ’s death. Finally, the previously mentioned estimate of 95% accuracy was a conservative one; in actuality it is closer to 98 or 99%.”

http://www.answering-islam.org/Authors/Qureshi/testimony.htm

(Side note: Do a YouTube search for Nabeel Qureshi to hear his testimony.  It’s AWESOME!)

While I can roll my eyes at the foolishness of the less-than-studious, the heartbreaking fact is that when baby Christians or struggling Believers hear the enemy’s lie that Scripture might be unreliable, it can shake the very foundations of their faith.  Instead of approaching the Bible as the source of truth, they question its contents and worse lose faith altogether!

Getting God’s children to question His Word is not a new trick of the enemy.  In fact, it is the oldest trick in the book.  Way back in the Garden before the fall, the slimy serpent slithered up to Eve and began to weave a web of deception.  Satan said to her, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” (Genesis 3:1).  God had given clear concise instructions about what Eve and her husband, Adam, could and could not eat. In Genesis 2:16-17 God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”  However, we see in Genesis 3 that during Satan’s fateful encounter with Eve, he got her to scrutinize something she should have just believed.  With a simple question, “Did God really say…?”, Eve began to doubt her Father.  Seeing Eve’s weakness, the lying serpent went for the jugular and blatantly refuted the truth of God’s Word.  Satan said to Eve, “You will not certainly die… for God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”  Eve believed Satan over God.  She ate, Adam ate, and the rest is painful history.  As time did then and will always do, it proved the Lord’s Word true.  Eve did die, and both she and her husband experienced excruciating separation from their Creator. 

The devil is doing the exact same thing today as he did in the Garden when he tries to get us to doubt God’s Word. 

“Did God really say that hell is real?” (Yes, He did, brothers and sisters!!)

“Did God really say there is only one way to heaven?” (Yes!)

“Is Scripture (God’s Word) really true or has time changed its contents?” (Yes! It’s true!)

“Is it really a sin to sleep with someone when you’re engaged?  Surely it’s not that big a deal!” (Yes, it is a sin.  Matthew 5:28, Revelation 21:8)

“Is homosexuality really a sin?  After all, love is LOVE!” (Yes.  Homosexulaity a sin.  Romans 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9)

Here me when I say this: YOU CANNOT PICK AND CHOOSE WHICH PORTIONS OF SCRIPTURE TO BELIEVE.  It is all true and you can put your faith in every jot and tittle!  And that’s the bottom line- it all comes down to faith.  Do you believe that God can preserve His Word through time?  (I do!  He is Able!)  Do you believe Jesus when He says that hell is real? (I do- and this knowledge lights a fire under my feet to tell the world about the Good News of the Gospel!)  Do you believe Christ when He says He is the only way to heaven? (I do!  The road is narrow just like Christ said! Matthew 7:14)  Do you believe God when He looks at sin and unflinchingly calls it what it is: sin?  (Yes.  And when I fail and stumble, I must seek His forgiveness.  He promises to be faithful and just to forgive me when I confess my sin! 1 John 1:9)

Listen, you may not like everything God says when you start exploring the passages of Scripture.  It may feel uncomfortable to hear Jesus’ Words when He speaks about relevant issues.  But God’s not going to change His mind about things, and He is just as radical today as He was when He walked the earth.  Following Him can be hard! 

When Jesus began His public ministry, He quickly developed quite a following.  He was a cool dude!  He healed the sick, fed the multitudes, took on the Pharisees with authority, and was kind to children and sinners.  Who wouldn’t want to be around a guy like that?  Crowds followed Jesus around just to see what He would do next- that was until these same followers heard Jesus teach about His body and blood by the Sea of Galilee one day.  After hearing His strange words, they said to themselves, “This is a hard saying; who can hear it?”  In frustration, these followers turned back and stopped following the Master.  Jesus then turned and asked the twelve disciples, “You do not want to leave too, do you?”  Simon Peter, in bold faith answered Jesus, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.”  (John 6:60-69)

I ask you now as Jesus asked the twelve, “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Do you believe that Jesus is the Holy One of God?  Can you accept His teaching?  ALL of His teaching? Do you believe His Words lead to eternal life even if they are hard?  Christ asks His disciplies to count the cost because Jesus knew it wouldn’t be easy for us! (Luke 14:28)

I’m afraid for the Church in America.  We are entirely too tolerant.  We don’t stand for truth!  We lazily go to man to teach us and not to God and His Word.  I’m afraid that when folks are confronted with the truth of Scripture, they too will turn back and stop following Jesus.  They’ll say just like the crowds at the Sea of Galilee said to Christ, “It’s too hard!  Who can hear this?” 

Yesterday, as my husband drove my kids and I home from school, I stared out my passenger window with a heavy heart as I pondered the moral decline of America.  Things that once caused us to blush are now championed.  Monogamy is scoffed at and labeled archaic, and promiscuity is lauded as the “natural state” in university lecture halls.  Christians who believe that the Bible- the whole Bible- is true are called bigots, closed-minded, and (gasp) old fashioned (‘cuz God forbid we not be trendy hipsters! Can you sense me rolling my eyes… again?).  As the car followed the curves of the well traveled roads home yesterday, I grieved over America’s choices.  I lamented for my children’s future.  “What kinds of persecution will they face?” I thought.  “How much hate will they have to endure in the name of “tolerance”?”  I sighed over the inevitable coming suffering in the United States because of our disobedience.   

As I continued to turn these thoughts over in my mind, what saddened me even more than the state of the country was the state of the American church!  Almost daily now I hear and read words of professing Christians like Thomas denying parts of God’s Word because today’s culture teaches and accepts different messages (“Did God really say…?” I hear Satan laugh in victory as the deceived masses reject eternal truths).  Though my children attend a Christian school, even they are sometimes considered “weird” because of their holy choices.  Several acquaintances of mine go to church on Sunday and claim to know Jesus as Savior but then live exactly like the unbelieving world the rest of the week.  This is incongruent.  The life of a Jesus follower should be different and a testimony to the rest of the world (Matthew 5:16)!  Frequently when “on the fence” Christians are rebuked for their ungodly choices, they retort, “But who are you to judge?  Jesus even said to not judge!”  Again, this shows their lack of knowledge of the scriptures.  Let’s look at the entire teaching they are quoting out of context:

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:1-5)

Clearly, Jesus is speaking specifically to hypocrites.  He instructs the hypocrite to take the plank out of his eye so he can then help remove the speck from his brother’s eye.  Notice that even the hypocrite, after he is healed of his problem, is given the okay to assist his brother!  Who better to help a man struggling with addiction than a fully recovered alcoholic?  Who better to teach the religious about grace than Paul, formally a Pharisee called Saul? 

To say we aren’t to judge behavior at all again ignores much of the New Testament!  To name only a few verses:

• We are commanded “be not deceived” (this requires judgment Matt 24:4, Luke 21:8, 2 Thess.2:3; Eph.5:6; Colossians 2:8).
• Test spirits (to test requires a pass/fail judgment) (John 4:1)
• Apostle Paul accused the believers at Galatia of being “foolish” and “bewitched” (Gal.2:1) because they did not judge well.
• Jesus congratulated the church at Ephesus for rooting out false apostles (Rev.2:1-3).
• The Apostle Paul says that he “did not cease to warn everyone night and day with tears” about the false teachers who troubled the church at Ephesus both from within and without. (Acts 20:28-31)
• Jesus Himself said, “Judge not according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.” (John 7:24)
• The entire book of Titus!

I believe that the American church, with few exceptions, is exactly like the Church of Laodicea.  Jesus says to us in an impassioned rebuke and plea (Revelation 3:14-22):

“These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation.  I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!  So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.  You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.  I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.  Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

 To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne.  Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

Do you have ears to hear, my Dear Reader?  Will you not be earnest and zealous for Jesus?  Will you repent with me for our lack luster faith?  Will you lock arms with me in opposition to the current of moral relativism so we can march upstream together on the side of the absolute truths in Scripture?  Will you cry out with me in righteous anger against the tide of lies that is washing over this country like an evil black cesspool?  Will you call the prodigals to come back home at all personal costs?  Will you not run the race with purpose and steadfast conviction so that Christ will see our work and be pleased?

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)

Yes, God really said it.  And I believe it.  Do you?

Indiana University, 1998

Women were born to help, nurture, love, and encourage.  While these are great Godly qualities, the enemy does all he can to add large doses of fear to a girl’s innate assets.  The end result of this addition is a disease that almost every woman must fight: people pleasing. 

Hi.  I’m Julie.  I am a people pleaser.

I want everyone around me to be 100% happy 100% of the time (realistic, aren’t I?).  When I think someone is upset with me, regardless of the reason or if I am innocent of any perceived wrongdoing, I hate it.  As in, I can’t sleep, I constantly think about the matter, and I break my neck to fix it.  In the past when conflicts have arisen, I have admitted fault knowing full well that I was essentially blameless.  It was better to lie and apologize (and that’s what it was… lying) than for the fight to continue.  If someone even looks at me with disapproval or disappointment, panic bursts in my belly.  I have a hard time drawing and keeping boundaries because I’m anxious about even the potential of upsetting someone I love.  Even if my schedule is completely full, it’s hard for me to say no when someone asks for help or wants my services.  Sometimes, I serve folks not out of a holy motivation of love, but out of an unholy desire for someone to “like me more”. (Do you see how that subtle yet powerful difference makes even a good deed selfish?  I served for me and my validation, not for them.)  When my boss calls me into his office, my first reaction is usually fear.  My internal monologue sounds something like, “Uh oh, he’s mad.  What did I do wrong?”  These thoughts come even if I’ve been doing great work!  Meetings with any authority figure freak me out.  I am compelled to give the “right answer” and hate to ruffle feathers. 

It’s not fun to admit all these things.  Shew, when I write it all out like this, I see what a mess I am!  My desire to please others can, if I am not careful, direct my entire life.  This is wrong.  It is God that should be calling shots.  I cannot please man and God at the same time.  I just can’t! 

A great Biblical example of a people pleaser was Saul.  When the prophet Samuel anointed Saul as king of Israel, he looked the part.  The Bible says that Saul was tall and very handsome (1 Samuel 9:1).  Because he was so good looking, he probably got used to hearing the praises and adoration of others.   The Bible shows us that he cared more about what the people thought of him than about obeying the Lord.  Saul’s ultimate downfall came when the Lord commanded Saul to destroy the Amalekites and to keep none of the plunder.  God asked this of Saul because the Amalekites had tried to destroy Israel without provocation as they traveled in the desert after the Exodus.  After the Amalekites’ initial defeat in the desert, God promised Moses that He would “blot out the memory of every Amalek under heaven”.  (Exodus 17:14)  The Lord was trying keep His promise to Moses through Saul, Israel’s king.  However, after Saul defeated the Amalekites, he did not carry out the Lord’s orders as instructed.  Instead, Saul spared the Amalekite’s king, Agag, and succumbed to the people’s wishes by letting them keep the best of the livestock.  Because Saul disobeyed the Lord and listened to the people, God chose to give his kingdom to David.  In addition to these short term consequences, king Saul’s disobedience spelled almost certain disaster for the Jews centuries later.  A decedent of Agag, Haman, led the plot to kill all of Israel during Babylonian rule.  The Lord was faithful to rescue Israel through Queen Esther’s brave obedience, but all the suffering and worry could have been prevented if Saul would have fulfilled the Lord’s command years earlier!

Do you see that if we work to please people we cannot please God?  What’s worse is that we can, in our desperate and often times cowardly desire to please others instead of Jesus, thwart the purposes and plans of God in our life and in the lives of others.  What a wakeup call!

The first time I went against my mother’s wishes to do what the Lord called me to do, I was in my mid-twenties, and I was terrified.  I felt led to attend a different church.  My mother loved that I went to the service with her, and I knew the switch would not be well received.  God wouldn’t let me wimp out by avoiding the situation or by sending an immature email, but instead He insisted that I act like an adult and tell her of my plans to change churches face to face.  I sat on my parents’ back porch in a plastic white lawn chair and stared trembling into my mother’s disapproving eyes.  As I communicated my intentions, she reacted exactly as I knew she would.  Mom was angry and hurt that I would consider going somewhere else without her.  It took all my reserves and Jesus’s strength to not cave in to her wishes and to say plainly and openly, “I want to do God’s will, not yours.” 

About a year later, the Lord called me back to my childhood church.  While I was away, Jesus grew my faith.  I learned much about life in ministry.  These were great fruits gleaned from a hard decision.  However, I believe the main reason Jesus asked me to leave in the first place was to test me to see who I would obey- man or God.  I’m glad I passed.

The Lord wasn’t finished testing me the area of people pleasing though.  This time when the trial came, it wasn’t one person I had to stand against.  It was ten thousand.

When I was younger, I was a pretty girl.  I was a dancer, had a cute little figure, and people complimented me frequently on my looks. The compliments felt life giving, and I blossomed under the praise.  Slowly, I began to be prideful about my appearance.  I enjoyed it when guys watched me walk down the hall at school.  While my mother never let me get entirely out of hand with my wardrobe, I sometimes chose things that were too tight, short, or clingy to get even more attention from the opposite sex.  I had so many clothes that at one point my friends dared me to try and go an entire quarter without wearing the same thing twice.  I succeeded.  I loved makeup, shoes, and dressing up.  In college, I was on an Indiana University dance team called Redsteppers.  One of the prerequisites to be on the team was not only dance ability, but also attractiveness.  During home games, I used to smile with shy satisfaction when my dance team would enter the stadium.  Boisterous boys in the home crowd would clap, whistle, and yell, “Red-Step-ERS!  Red-Step-ERS!”  Not unpredictably, over time I began to believe that my value was somehow linked to my physical appearance.  Everything in America’s culture reaffirmed the lie. 

During all those years I spent countless hours shopping, primping, and looking into the mirror, I gave little or no thought to developing Godly character and integrity.  When I gave Jesus Lordship over my life however, He would not let this wrong focus and arrogance continue.  God does not look at the outward appearance, but at the heart!  (1 Samuel 16:7) 

After I got married and had my daughter, I began to struggle with my weight.  After the birth of my son, I lost the battle completely.  As the pounds came, I prayed, cried, and continually asked God to help me lose weight.  I tried every diet.  While I had some temporary successes, nothing worked over the long haul.  Finally, the Lord unexpectantly answered my prayers for help through a Godly woman during a woman’s Bible study.  His response was, “I will not help you right now, Julie.”  Not the answer I was hoping for, but I knew why the Lord gave me a temporary no.  Because of Bible reading I was self aware enough to know that Jesus needed to humble me in this area, and He also wanted to show me that true eternal value had absolutely nothing to do with hairstyle, lipstick color, or dress size.  Scriptures I read taught me that physical beauty was vain and fleeting , but a woman who feared the Lord and of noble character was more precious than rubies or gold.  (Proverbs 31).  Unlike the shallow compliments I had received in my youth, women of Godly character would get deserved honor and praise in this life and in the next.  As I walked with God, I was changed from the inside out.  Jesus frequently whispered in low moments that I was more beautiful now than I had ever been. 

You would think that after I had learned all this truth, man’s opinion wouldn’t matter.  But it did!  I still cared what others thought about me and was addicted to their approval!  People were kinder to me as a thin person.  I found that the curvier I got, the less eye contact I got in public.  Instead of being noticed by strangers, I felt like others saw right through me. 

I’m glad I serve a God that sees us all! Amen?

One day in the summer of 2012, I was perusing my email’s inbox when I noticed a message from the Indiana University’s Redsteppers.  Upon reading, I learned that there was to be a 40^th anniversary performance in the fall at a Hoosier football game, and all team alumni were invited.  I didn’t even give a second thought to the invitation.  I would never go.  Who would want to see a chubby gal dancing on the sidelines?  While seeing my old friends would be fun, it would not be worth the humiliation.  No.  NO THANK YOU! 

A few days later, I was driving down the interstate singing praise songs when the Lord jolted me out of making more joyful noises with thoughts of the Redstepper’s 40^th anniversary. 

Patiently He inquired, “Did You ask me if I wanted you to go?” 

“Well, no, Lord,” I conceded.  Uh oh.  This didn’t seem like it was going to end well.

“I want you to go.” 

“But Lord!  It would be so embarrassing!  I would rather die!”

“I want you to go. I want you to be a living sacrifice for Me.” (Romans 12:1)

“But….”

“If you want your prayers for your neighbor to be answered, you must obey.  Whose opinion is more important?  Mine or man’s?”

“Yours,” I sighed in surrender.  “Okay, I’ll go.  I’ll go for You.  I’ll go for my neighbor.” I blushed at the mere thought of prancing about in front of thousands of fans on game day.  This was going to take all I had to carry out the promise I had just made.

God did not give me time to back out.  Less than one minute after I made the promise, my cell phone rang.  I looked at the caller ID and rolled my eyes not even surprised.  Of course it was Alexis, my Redstepper friend.  Alexis lived in Maine, and I hadn’t spoken to her in literally a year.  I knew she was calling to see if I would be going to the 40^th anniversary game. 

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hi Julie!  It’s Lexi!  I was wondering if you were going to the football game?”

“Yeah I’ll be there!” I said with feigned enthusiasm. 

After we chatted awhile, I hung up the phone and groaned.  She was going to book a flight to Indiana now that I had said I was going.  I couldn’t change my mind.  “Well played, Jesus,” I thought.  “Well played.”

In the months leading up to performance day, I learned the routine by watching a video online.  My body remembered how to high kick and move.  I still loved to dance!  However, the day my shirt size was emailed to the entire group, my stomach dropped and a dark blush colored my face.  Obviously, the email wasn’t meant to shame me.  Organizers simply wanted dancers to confirm orders.  However, my size “L” stuck out like a sore thumb among a long list of mediums and smalls.  The worst part was knowing that this small embarrassment was only a precursor to the humiliation of actual game day.   

Love is an action word. Faith without works is dead (James 2:20)!  God had never asked this much of me before, but I was determined to obey.  I would show Jesus how much I loved Him by doing this thing.  I would have obeyed for no person on earth. 

Game day came.  I drove to my university campus with butterflies and arrived at the practice field with great trepidation.  Alexis was there and we caught up in between our old coach’s 8 counts and directives.  Throughout the day, I smiled and made polite small talk.  I faced over 10,000 fans in the fall sunshine and performed my turns and kicks without error.  I held Alexis’s new baby.  I cheered with the fans and with my supportive family after my half time routine.  Predictably, the Hoosiers lost the game, but I won the war.  In short, I ground my teeth and powered through. 

Why did God want me at that game so badly?  I can guess that it was for a couple of reasons.  First of all, everyone on my Redstepper team knew how I got married: I had only known my then boyfriend now husband for a couple of months, we got hitched in the courthouse against my parents’ wishes, I dropped out of the dance team and out of college entirely, etc.   Nobody, and I mean nobody expected Jason and I to still be together.  Even less predicted that I would finish school.  The fact that my marriage was still going and that I had graduated was a witness to the redeeming power of Jesus.  I got to tell other dancers about my faith.  Secondly, God asked me to go for my neighbor, “Amy”.  After I had obeyed, the Lord honored this one act of obedience and began to hear my prayers for her salvation.  I will write more about this in the next story.

 While everyone was kind that day on the football field and no one said a negative word, I could still sense their disapproval at my fuller frame.  The miracle is not as spectacular as some of the others I have described, but no less important.  It is this: I lived through their disapproving stares and negative judgments with God’s strength and presence.  I proved to myself and most importantly to Jesus that I would obey Him even at great personal cost to my own ego and need to please.  His will was more important than man’s opinion.  I wasn’t like Saul that day at IU.  I was a David- a woman after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22). 

I am on the back row, forth one from the left.

I’m gonna let ya’ll in on a little secret.  I’m a crazy driver.  I was born with a lead foot and wouldn’t even want to guess at how many tickets I’ve accrued throughout the years.  I have managed to avoid an accident in recent history, but you’d better believe I’ve had my fair share.  I used to loathe the day when my car insurance bill arrived each month.  It made me cringe.

Back in ’07 or ’08, I was pulled over for speeding in a school zone.  (I know, I know.  I’m bad.)  I believe my ticket was around $150.  Because we were so broke after I had lost my teaching job, buying groceries and putting gas in the car was difficult.  So at that point, my ticket may just as well have been $1000… Paying the fine was going to be difficult! 

The deadline to pay the ticket came and went.  That spelled bad news for Julie.  Until I paid the ticket, I was living dangerously by driving on a suspended license.  It was nerve wracking.

Finally, one chilly Friday (which happened to be payday), I drove home from a substitute job intending to pay my ticket.  (Honest to goodness… I was planning on paying it THAT DAY!)  As I drove to pick up my daughter at her community bus stop through slushy snow, I slowed to obey the reduced speed limit in yet another school zone. 

I didn’t slow down fast enough. 

To my utter dread, a police car pulled out of its hiding spot and flashed ugly lights at me.  I pulled over immediately.  Adrenaline spiked my blood stream.  I knew I had been caught driving illegally on two counts, but that was the least of my concerns.  I was due at my daughter’s bus stop in less than 5 minutes.  Zoe’s community stop at the local Bureau of Motor Vehicles (oh the irony!) was miles from my home on a busy road.  She was only in 2^nd grade.  I had to be there!

A young brash police officer stepped out of his car and sternly addressed me through my rolled down window.  In a flurry of words, I tried to explain that I was in a hurry.  The policeman was unmoved by my story.  Trying to settle my nerves, I dutifully handed him my license and registration.  He went back to his car to process my ticket, and I stirred in the driver’s seat.  As the seconds and then minutes ticked by, I got more and more nervous knowing that my daughter would feel forgotten and abandoned if I wasn’t there to retrieve her at the bus stop.  Finally, in a state of panic, I opened my car door to try and plead with the officer to let me walk to the bus stop which was only about 3 minutes away by foot. 

At once, the officer went from harsh to hostile.  “Close your door!” he roared in warning.  I obeyed.  While I understood that his training dictated such a response, it took all of my self-control to ignore the mother bear response I was experiencing, to walk to the bus stop anyway, and to face the ramifications of disobeying an officer later.   

Finally, Mr. Grumpy came back to the car and handed me my ticket.  He then informed me that I could not drive because my license was suspended.  “Okay okay,” I thought!  “Who cares?!  I have to get Zoe!” 

After getting permission to exit my car, I lurched out of my seat.  I was wearing red silk ballet slipper shoes as I tromped through 3 inches of snow.  My feet were soaked within a minute.  Tears spattered my face.  A couple of sweet drivers stopped to ask me if I needed help. “No thank you,” I replied.  I would walk even if my feet froze and I looked ridiculous.  I didn’t want to explain my humiliating situation to another soul.

I arrived at the bus stop just as the bus was about to pull away with my daughter on board.  Mercifully, the courteous driver saw me and stopped in the nick of time.

As soon as I had a very befuddled Zoe in tow, I used a (thankfully close) payphone to call my parents and ask them to meet me at my car.  I did not own a cell phone at the time, what with me being so broke and all.  I silently prayed and hoped that Mom and Dad would make it before the tow truck. 

As my daughter and I walked back to my vehicle, I tried my best to explain what was happening.  How does one describe traffic laws to a seven-year-old?  Shame washed over me.  My very innocent and pure 2^nd grade daughter had a front row seat to witness her mother being disciplined not only by man, but also the Lord.  Clearly Jesus had had enough of my continued disobedience on the road, and He was sternly correcting me.  God disciplines those He loves, and man I was loved that day. (Hebrews 12:6)       

Thankfully, my parents showed up in time to rescue Zoe, me and my car.  As soon as they drove me to my apartment, I paid the outstanding ticket.  Then, I went into my bedroom, closed the door, and howled. It was one of those rare cries where the pain and frustration accumulated over many months came spilling out in the course of a few minutes.  (This period of my life was very difficult as I’ve described in earlier stories.)  The cry was ugly, cathartic, and exhausting.  My mother sat by my side, patted my back, and said absolutely nothing as my body was wracked with sobs.  There is a time for corrective reproof.  She was wise enough to know that this was not the moment for such discussions. I’ll never be able to say enough thanks for her nonjudgmental presence that afternoon.  

In typical Julie fashion, after my good cry, I pulled up my boot straps and dealt with my crazy afternoon.  I was never one to wallow, and God’s joy was and is always my strength. (Psalm 28:7)  Within a few days, I could laugh and roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of my decisions. 

By now you might be wondering where the miracle is in this story.  After all, the title of this blog is I Have Seen Miracles.  Keep reading.  It’s a doozie.

Because I had been pulled over for driving on a suspended license, I was due in traffic court in a few weeks.  The scheduled afternoon came, and as I drove to the courthouse, I prayed a little prayer.  “Lord, You and I both know that I am completely guilty of speeding and driving illegally.  I won’t even try to deny it or give excuses.  Please be with me and grant me grace as I face the judge.”

When I arrived at court, I was astonished by the number of people gathered.  A line of at least fifty yards filled the rotunda of the vast building.  “Great,” I thought.  “I’m going to be here all night!”

As many others and I waited for the courtroom doors to open, I made small talk with those next to me in line.  I know I talked about Jesus some- I always do.  After some time passed, a gentleman standing behind me began to discuss his particular case with anyone who would listen.  He had been pulled over for speeding, and it was his intention to try and find some loop hole to get out of paying the fine.  After listening to his arrogance for as long as I could handle, I turned around and simply said, “But, are you guilty?”  He blinked at me when I interrupted his reverie.  I continued, “When I face the judge, I’m not going to give an excuse.  I’m going to go in there and tell the judge that I am guilty, because I am.”  After a beat, he shrugged me off with a few words obviously intent on sticking to his weaseling plan.   

Literally less than thirty seconds later, those of us standing in line were interrupted from our small talk when we heard the sound of a lady’s voice yelling over the crowed, “Julie So-and-So?”  (I’m not sharing my last name here for obvious reasons.)  “Julie?” 

“I’m Julie,” I replied, waving to her as I did so.  She walked over to me, checked my ID, and then said, “Your case has been thrown out.  You are free to go.”

My face morphed quickly into an earsplitting grin.  The guy behind me was absolutely dumbfounded as well as all the other drivers within earshot.  I didn’t have a clue why in the natural world my case was thrown out, but I had no doubt that Jesus had heard my prayer and answered beyond what I could have possibly hoped or thought. (Jeremiah 29:11)

I have had time to reflect on this whole experience, and I believe it is a beautiful parable of what Christ did for me at the cross.  I was guilty that day, but allowed to go free without punishment.  Christ was guiltless, but because of His great love for me, He died on the cross to bear my punishment so I could go free. 

Those that approach the Judge of the Universe trying to convince Him that they are innocent of breaking His laws defined in the 10 Commandments will get just punishment for their actions.  On that Great Day just as so many do in today’s culture, many folks will try to justify themselves according to their own standards.  They’ll say to the Judge, “I’m a good person.  I never did anything really bad.  Sure I told a few lies, but I never murdered or raped anyone.  I gave to the poor.  I was a good citizen!”  However, God’s standards are so high that He considers lust adultery and hatred murder.  According to the Lord’s law, we are all guilty.  (Romans 3:23)  Those that try to justify themselves with their own works will stand condemned in front of the Judge.  Isaiah says it succinctly: “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.”

However, the Good News of the Gospel promises that if we approach Jesus by admitting our sin and asking for His forgiveness, He grants rivers of unmerited grace and mercy.  Just as I was allowed to walk free even though I was clearly guilty of driving on a suspended license, the Lord Jesus will declare those who call on His Name innocent because of His sacrifice at the cross.  John 3:16-17, in many ways the Cornerstone of the Christian faith, joyfully declares: “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal live.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.” Isaiah said 700 years before the birth of Jesus, “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5) And finally, Paul, writing to the Corinthian church says in 2 Corinthians 5:21 that “God made him who had no sin [Jesus] to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

This is THE GOOD NEWS!  Glory to God!  May we believe and rest in these precious promises.   

The words to my favorite hymn bubble up just now as I reflect on what He has done for me:

Stuart Townsend
How Deep the Father’s Love for Us

How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast inJesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

This blog has been on my heart for at least five years.  It is my wish to tell simple true stories with one overwhelming theme: God is real.